Portland matchmaking agency, Portland Singles, explains a few things you don’t want to say if you want your breakup to go smoothly.
Breaking up is one of the most difficult things to do—regardless if you’re the one calling it quits or you’re the one being dumped. During a break there are many emotions flying around, and with so many different feelings going on, you might find yourself saying something stupid or something you’ll later regret. To make sure your breakup doesn’t go from bad to worse, Portland matchmaking experts from Portland Singles have a few things you always want to avoid saying.
It Wasn’t You, It Was Me
This one is one of the biggest lies when it comes to breakups, but so many people use it—not only is it cliché, but it’s very deceiving. This phrase often comes off as being rehearsed and insincere, explains Portland matchmaking experts—you should avoid it at all costs. If you ever cared for and loved your partner at some point during the relationship, then avoid saying this phrase because things will never end in a good way if you say it.
I Never Cared for You
These types of words will hit below the belt. Even if you are experiencing a bad breakup, don’t go there. When you tell someone you never cared for or loved them while breaking up, it’s likely you’re saying it because you feel hurt and are upset that your partner will now being your ex. There is no need to continue with the drama and there is no point in lying to yourself because you did love your partner at one point.
Can We Continue Living Together?
If you are involved in a serious relationship it’s likely the two of you live together by now. Once the two of you call it quits, there is no point in asking your ex if you can still live with them. Not only would it cause more problems, but it’s not the best thing to do. You shouldn’t want to live with the person you just broke up with or the one that dumped you—it’s not healthy, explains Portland matchmaking experts. Move on, stay on your parent’s couch or crash at a friend’s place until you get a place on your own—anything but staying with an ex.
I Love You but I Don’t Really Love You Love You
This phrase is very cliché, one that tends to pop up all the time during a breakup. If you’re going to tell your partner you love them but are not really in love with them, be prepared to give a full explanation of what you mean. Don’t blame your breakup on the lack of not being fully in love.
I Need My Own Space
Any time you bring this type of topic up during a breakup you’re going to have to make sure it is truly what you want. During a breakup is never the time to say you need more space—saying this will only make you look unsure of what you want, explains Portland matchmaking experts. It shows you’re a vague person or even confused about your life and want you want.
My Ex Was Better Than You
During a breakup is never the time to bring an ex into the picture. If you’re breaking up due to an ex, then that’s a completely different story. Instead of insulting your once partner or comparing them to someone from the past, keep calm and understand those words can be very hurtful. Remember that you once cared about this person and you should keep it respectful with them, even during your breakup, explains Portland matchmaking experts.
Can We Continue to Be Friends?
There is nothing more insulting than breaking up with someone then immediately asking them to remain friends. Right now, the person you have just dumped wants nothing to do with you—and by asking them to be friends with you you’re putting them in a very awkward situation. Talk to them about a friendship when the wounds have healed, but not right now, explains Portland matchmaking experts.
We’re Just Taking a Break
Now, the truth is, there is no real difference between taking a break and a full-blown breakup. Some people think by taking a break the relationship will all the sudden become better, but that rarely happens, explains Portland matchmaking experts.
You’ll Be Sorry Later On
When you are the one on the receiving end of the breakup you’re bound to feel very angry; however, one thing you don’t want to do is threaten your partner or talk about revenge. Destructive and negative thoughts should be kept to yourself because once you’ve calmed down you’ll regret saying them.
I Already Met Someone New
The fact that you already met someone new before breaking off your relationship means you are a cheater. If you truly found a new person, then it’s best to keep that information to yourself—revealing this information will make the breakup harder for both people—especially for the one who is being dumped, explains Portland matchmaking experts.
I Think I Can Change Your Mind
When someone is about to call a relationship quits it’s likely they have given it plenty of thought and time before coming to that conclusion. During the midst of a breakup it’s never a good idea to beg your ex and plead with them for another chance. The decision has been made and there is nothing you can do about it.
Can We Remain Friends with Benefits?
As mentioned earlier, during the midst of a breakup it’s never wise to talk about remaining friends, especially friends with benefits. For most people who were involved in a decent relationship, being friends with benefits is completely out of the equation. While continuing to be intimate with your ex might be okay with you, it most likely won’t be ideal for them. When a breakup occurs, everyone needs time to heal and be apart so having intimate time together is only going to prolong the healing process, explains Portland matchmaking experts. It is best to cut all ties and communication until healed.
If you’re looking to meet like-minded people who are ready to settle down into something serious, contact Portland Singles to find out how they can help you. They have successfully connected thousands of singles over the last 25 years, and they’re confident they can help you too!